Cooking dinner with SomaFM Lush playing and a coconut citrus candle lit in the window. I am so Zen sometimes I amaze myself. On the other hand, I can be so un-Zen I have to roll my eyes. For example; today I got a 60 minute massage at EarthBody in Hayes Valley. The inside is comfy apothecary /jungle experience complete with amber mood lighting. My therapist was so lovely, I found out she's been a massage therapist for 21 years (me= humbled!). Unfortunately during the massage my mind kept saying "you forgot all about my quads" "i don't need attention there i need it in my QL" " agg more head please (scalp massage;)". Then at the end it was like "Fuck! i need 90 minutes". The part of me that always wants more makes it really difficult to be fully present in the moment. As well as the controlling side that knows the perfect way to do everything.

I am really looking forward to April when I am working 4 days a week maximum. Since November I've been working 5-6 days massaging bodies left and right. I've had some vacation time which has broken it up, also mini-cations in the bath tup. Bodywork is something that takes so much focus; emotional and physical energy that I can easily get burnt out for a time. Therefore I've become addicted to relaxing and detoxing. Relaxaholic. I've been craving a nap in the grass under the sun lately. It's free and the weather has been gorgeous.